How to Not Compare Yourself to Others | The Better Than Rich Show Ep. 9
How to Not Compare Yourself to Others
Sometimes as leaders we can get caught up in comparing ourselves or our business to others’. Even though creating competition between ourselves and others isn’t useful to anyone, because if we are below that person we end up feeling inadequate and if we are ahead we feel a sense of complacency.
To create a more useful emotion we should be comparing ourselves to our projections
What was I capable of doing? What was my business doing? How can I improve, evolve, or do better?
Asking ourselves questions like these can create a less egotistical emotion. Instead of being competition-focused, these questions help set up a mindset of hyper-focus on ourselves.
It doesn’t matter if we are number 1… 20… or 77, with projections we have expectations set for ourselves, instead of using the expectations set by others for themselves and us.
How To Create Realistic Sets Of Projections
When setting up realistic projections we want to be able to see all perspectives. We need a path for a worst-case scenario, another for the best, and lastly, one for what we think will most likely happen. Generally, everything falls between these categories.
So when putting projections together you need three things:
Must-Do: What we are willing to accept as the bare minimum or the least amount of effort.
Should Do: What is most likely to happen if some things go great and others don’t.
Could do: If everything goes perfectly this is the best-case scenario
To create this you need to know what you want, what excites you, and who you want to be. Before creating a set of realistic projections we need to brainstorm all the outcomes we desire. Start 30 days from now, and then connect those wants and goals to the annual goal.
It’s important to tie your projections into your yearly goals. A great way to ensure that they are is asking yourself this question: “How is this goal or projection pushing me forward to my annual goals or projections”
This technique is called vision casting. This is where you imagine yourself accomplishing and or receiving whatever you desire before you get into the numbers. This is how we start with the end in mind.
Comparison Is Crippling
We can’t compare ourselves to people who are farther along than us. Everyone is running their race at their own pace.
Everything takes time. Anything that doesn’t have time put into it is a recipe for disaster. We should be taking one step at a time instead of rushing ourselves to catch up to people we most likely don’t even know or understand how they’ve gotten in the position they are in.
The person who starts lifting 10 pounds and wonders why the next person can lift 100 is only crippling themselves. Then thoughts like “I can never do that” “Why can’t I do that” and “How come they can” appear and cancel any desire to do that activity at all, which stops any progress.
This desire to get results quickly here at Better Than Rich is the “Get Rich Quick” plan. This perspective comes from a place of scarcity and desperation, allowing us to feel like certain decisions are okay even though we wouldn’t normally do so otherwise.
Instead, we need to replace those thoughts with ones of gratitude and support for one another. We should celebrate others’ accomplishments. We shouldn’t be envious of others because like the feeling of scarcity it isn’t benefiting anyone.
If someone is beating us in our field, those should be relationships we double down on. There is plenty to learn from the person who is challenging you. Invest in relationships that provide a healthy level of competition. As they get better you get better and the other way around. We need to make a point to provide value to these relationships along with gaining value. Value can be curiosity, compliments, humor, care, and thought-provoking questions, you can always offer someone something no matter how little we feel we have.
Why be envious when we can be good students and learn to be better. No one wants to work with a sore loser.
We are all running our individual races, but we can support each other throughout them to help advance ourselves and others.