Episode 15 Creating Community | The Better Than Rich show
Creating Community
Community is important because it provides support and empathy to an individual with their current situations. Community is a safe place where one can share their darkest fears along with their biggest triumphs.
The idea of “Your needs are my needs my needs are your needs” is extremely important within friendships and sometimes it gets overlooked because of the overwhelm of surface-level friendships. We need to fight against a culture that is constantly attempting to isolate us.
We all have needs, human beings aren’t meant to be isolated. And to receive we should give. Whatever you aren’t receiving in your life, start giving it.
If we want to create a more positive community where we can be fully and openly honest about our situations and be held and supported in those feelings, we should start doing those things for the people around us right now!
The right people will start to gravitate to us when we begin acting the way we want the people around us to act.
Expressing Vulnerability.
Sometimes instead of expressing support and understanding, people pass judgment on others’ thoughts and feelings which leads to them feeling lesser and being scared to express their feelings at later times or be their true selves.
If we are being ourselves and we are rejected for being open and sharing, those aren’t people we want inside our community. And if we aren’t aligned with those people now, it’s good to know that we aren’t compatible or aligned with certain people now because if not now, then we most likely won’t be in the future.
Being authentic is one of the most desirable characteristics when creating or joining a community. When an open person is open and honest it paves the way for more brave souls to do the same.
More than likely if we are experiencing pain, there is a whole community of people who can benefit from us expressing it, that not only are also experiencing that pain but also don’t want to stay in it.
There is a common pain and also a common desire to help. Through pain is a great place to start.
Every person who doesn’t agree with us shouldn’t be excluded from the community, having people with different ways of thinking brings enormous value to the group and the level of support that can be provided. Sometimes friends don’t agree, that doesn’t then make them any less beneficial to each other.
Creating A Sacred Safe Space
We want to create a space where like-minded people can come together and feel heard, supported, and secure. This space should feel safe for everyone sharing and deciding to be vulnerable in the presence of their community.
A great way to ensure that the community stays a sacred place for the people in it is to have rules of engagement. These rules of engagement help ensure everyone can speak their mind while feeling seen and secure in what they are sharing.
Openly sharing is extremely powerful, but holding in feelings and thoughts can be just as powerful and negatively affecting.
A few examples of rules of engagement are:
When someone is speaking we do not interrupt them, we wait for them to fully finish, respond, then begin a new topic.
Trying to sell to or recruit the members of the community is not allowed.
No one is in charge of leading the community.
What is said in the community is safe within the community.
Network and community are two very different things. Networking is where you cast the net and put people to work while community is common unity.
Being Intentional with Our Needs
How do we know this is what we need or these are the people we want to surround ourselves with?
Let us start with being humble and honest. When we start with honesty we can step outside our comfort zone and into the realization of the things we are missing. Then from that honesty, we can be humble enough to go look for help to solve the frustrations and challenges we have. If we stay in our comfort zone or our strength we begin to create surface-level communities because it’s easy.
No one wants to be needy, but we all do have needs. So if we can all be honest and humble we can find a community to support us through it.
Being Comfortable In Your Position
In a community there is no telling what season everyone will be in at a specific time, some people might be in a winter period while we rock out in a summer period of our lives. That is why the saying ‘your needs are my needs and my needs are yours’ is so important. This means there will be times when we are providing and receiving support to and from the community. This leads to individuals playing multiple roles within the community that change often.
You get what you give.
To be in a community without a specified designated leader we need to be comfortable playing both the role of a leader or teacher and that of a follower or learner. The best leaders are also the best followers.
The best leaders are willing to learn, listen, and receive.
